Hi Riverdale fans!  Tonight’s recap is going to be much briefer than what I usually do.  It’s not because Riverdale wasn’t a full hour, it’s just trying to wrap my head around everything that goes down leads everything to a shorter description.  And I actually like my title for this chapter better.  Riverdale seems to have a distorted history and the family plays into the story.  It seems that secrets are coming out and there’s a hint of madness wherever you look.  So let’s get to the quick run down.

Archie and the Community Center

Archie is out to save Riverdale.  He comes up with a scheme to not only stop the kids as the man in the mask but be there as Archie when FP arrives.  He even finds work for some of the kids so they can make an honest salary.  We all knew Archie had heart, didn’t we!  Archie even tries to get the kids in the Community Center only to learn that Dodger is giving a pizza party at the video arcade.  No worries, Ron has hamburgers brought in and everyone shows up.  This is too much for Dodger who calls Archie out for being the vigilante.  When Reggie and others show up, Dodger says he has the proof.  The Community Center gets trashed but no way of knowing who did it (wink, wink — of course it was ordered by Dodger).

One night, Archie comes home to find a mask with a knife through it on the door.  He immediately goes in and tells Mary that they have to leave.  Unfortunately she doesn’t get the message and tries to make Archie explain.  Suddenly, gun fire erupts and the window is blown in. Mary needs to learn to listen to Archie if danger is coming.

Archie knows FP can’t do anything so he turns to Hiram Lodge (yep — he’s back).  Hiram has visited the Community Center to express his sympathy at Archie’s loss.  Archie refused the blank check Hiram gave him.  Maybe he regrets that when he asks Hiram’s help with Dodger.  Hiram says he can’t help Archie with that problem.  Yet, shortly after the talk, Archie and Reggie finds Dodger injured in the alley.  Coincidence?  Hiram becoming a  vigilante?  Will we ever know?  Of course, Riverdale can’t wait to tell us later.

Betty and Charles

So, what do you do when your brother reappears as a FBI agent acting strange.  If you are Betty, you follow him.  As Betty reports to Jughead, Charles does nothing really suspicious.  This is itself is strange in the Riverdale world.  So Betty decides to go see the fake Chic and find out what he knows.  Oh, he knows Charles and Chic tells Betty about a murder at the “home” where he and Charles were raised.  He tells Betty it was Charles who went insane and committed the murder.  When given a lie detector test by Betty, Charles doesn’t appear to lie until faced with this.  He then tells Betty it was Chic who did it not him and he ran because of Chic (yeah right).

Later at the house, Charles tells Betty that someone (Betty’s accused) turned in Alice for a murder.   He and FP go to cover the crime up better.  When Charles returns, Betty and he reunite.  Later, at the prison, Chic and Charles share their love for each other.  So my question is:  Just what is Charles really wanting from the FP/Alice family.  It’s got to be more than a family.  My thoughts:  He likes to terrorize people and Betty is his next victim.

Veronica’s Strange Situation

Veronica and Hermione are going to make a family only Hiram shows up and wants to be a part of it.  With him is his other daughter, Hermosa. (By the way writers where did you get that name?)  Ronnie wants no part of it and is throwing her mom a party which gets crashed by Hiram and Hermosa.  While Ron isn’t happy she is gracious.  Oh, and did I mention.  Hiram is now into rum and wants Ron to use it at the speakeasy and let Hermosa help her.

Hiram goes to see Hermione and tells her he wants to get back with her.  Okay, I hate to use this word but I will.  They really let this scene get just close enough to kinky that I wonder how it made it past the censors.  Anyway, Ron finds out and gets mad but Hiram uses the spill that Veronica will always be his favorite.  Wait, wasn’t he just planning revenge against both of them?

Hermosa shows up at Pop’s to tell Ron that Hermione and Hiram will remarry.  Ron doesn’t want to believe it but Hermosa tells Ron that she doesn’t know the Hiram she knows.  Seems Hermosa’s mom was a singer and Hiram was good to both her mom (before she dies — another death) and Hermosa. Later at the apartment, a new picture is over daddy’s desk — Hemosa. Ron isn’t having anything to do with this or Hermosa taking her place and basically declares war.  She’s not losing her place of honor to someone she never has known.

Jughead and His Grandfather

Let’s make this brief.  I would have liked more background on this.  To summarize it, which is the best way to deal with this, Jughead finds a story his grandfather wrote.  It was hard work because everything by “Forsythe the first” has been destroyed.  Jughead accuses Mr. Dupont (whatever) of plagiarizing his grandfather’s work.  Well, that doesn’t set well with the author Dupont.  He threatens Jughead and says the books support the school.  He also threatens Jughead with his scholarship.  So what does Jug do?  He goes to Mr. Chipping who  jumps out the window.  While Jughead tells others to call for an ambulance, he goes downstairs.  When he returns, he learns the class is cancelled, they all got A’s due to their teacher’s attempted suicide, and a new teacher enters.  That’s right!  It’s none other than Mr. Dupont.

Cheryl’s Strange Family

We all know that Jason is (cough) living in the basement Chapel at Thistlehouse yet Julian still is haunting the house.  Cheryl is having nightmares and refusing to leave nana alone in the house with the doll.  When Ti-Ti talks her into returning, she puts the doll in a circle of salt.  She’s not at school long before she gets called to the office to learn that Dagwood has been rushed to the hospital due to choking.

As if this isn’t bad enough, Cheryl also has her aunt and uncles show up.  They feel like the maple business and Thistlehouse is costing too much money.  They have an offer to sale and want to do so.  Well, with Jason in the basement, how can Cheryl do that?  When the family wants to go downstairs to the Chapel to pray, Cheryl refuses to sale and the family calls her crazy.  Later, one of her uncles shows up and goes downstairs.  What he sees makes him call Cheryl crazy!  Well she has the right, doesn’t she??  Anyway, he grabs Cheryl and threatens to put her in a mental home.  No, he decides to kill her himself.  Little does he know that Ti Ti wasn’t injured when he slapped her and kills him.  Later, auntie returns asking where her husband is and both lie.  I guess crazy is the norm in that family.

Endnotes/next week

I’m not even going to try and go there this week.  The sad news is there was no flashforward so no new clues.  Did I scare them off last week?  Oh, well, seven days until a new Riverdale folks.